Hi gorgeous!
Man, you are teething up a little storm. You've got two very tiny, needle sharp teeth on the bottom now and MAN, do they hurt when you bite while you nurse.
Yeah.
And then you smile up at me and I have no ability to be mad or annoyed or anything at you. Seriously, child, you are just toooooo cute for your own good.
So, update, update.
You've been rolling around a bunch now, back to front and front to back and have taken to sleeping on your tummy now. I'm kind of relieved because you're less likely to rip out your own pacifier, cry, repeat now. I used to have to swaddle you, with these fantastic muslin blankets, all airy and soft...but you hated being swaddled after a certain point and would worm out of them, popping your arms out like a little daisy...so finally I only swaddled one arm and you managed it, then both arms were undone and that lasted for about a week before you decided that tummy sleeping was the way to go.
Sounds good to me.
I feel like everything is going by so fast. You're already nearly seven months! You're getting close to sitting up, you would bounce in your bouncer all day (Ha! The day you figured out you could bounce, you had this look of pure GLEE and shook those springs for all they were worth). You've nearly outgrown your swing, and you've discovered that I leave you in your crib. How dare I?
You go to sleep pretty darn well, I have to plug you with your pacifier once or twice, but for the most part, you settle right down and go to sleep. But I can't stay in there at.all. while you're getting yourself to sleep, because you'll twist your little blondred head up to look at me, and then look at me accusingly like, hey, you're up there and...I'm DOWN HERE!!! What the heck, woman? It's best just to cork and run and then you just play with your scorpion and your chicken until you fall asleep.
You've been off your schedule for the past week or so. The teething plus a combo of mastitis where I wasn't making enough milk for you, so I just pretty much let you nurse whenever you wanted. We're paying for it now, you're waking up earlier and earlier and you're struggling to stay asleep for your whole nap. Unfortunately, I have to let you work some of it out while I rub your back (usually while you're twisting up to look at me) until you start to calm back down and then I run away. Then you'll fall asleep, go figure.
Sometimes, I really like feeding you in the middle of the night because you'll MAYBE fall asleep on me. Ena was the same way. Cranmer girls sleep in their beds, thank you very much. Which is good. But I miss sleepy cuddles. Those are some of the best.
I hear you rustling in your crib a bit now, and I love going to get you because you beam that huge smile of yours. I love your joy, baby girl. You light up every room and can get a smile out of anyone. You're a gift.
Love,
Momma
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Ena - Sept 9th, 2012
Hi Ena-girl!
You started preschool!
You also got us all sick with a germ you picked up from preschool, but that's okay. Kinda normal from what I hear. You've been running around, yelling at your body that "I'm gonna beat you germs! I'm gonna beat you with this soup! Go away!"
You're a positive thinker.
Also, you have watched more TV than...man, enough to make me feel like a bad mom. I mean, we've done other stuff. Painted, made snake families on the floor with painters tape (i.e. lines of tape that we draw faces on...you LOVE this.), we made soup together today. But, still, you've watched a crap ton of TV while being sick. I'm okay with this.
Preschool is so weird for me. I mean, it's GREAT for you. You get to make friends, and see them consistently, you have sweet teachers, you're very stimulated...it's awesome! But it's weird for me! Because I don't get to see you for a large chunk of the day.
And you know what? You can't even tell me about what happened? I ask, and you're like...I don't...Mom, I don't know what I did today. Like this great period of time elapsed and you are literally at a loss to explain what might have filled it.
I can see where moms get super "interrogate-y." Well, did you have a snack? What kind of snack? Were your friends nice? Did anyone hit you? Do you like your teachers? What did you play with? and on and on and on.
I try really hard not to do this, because it feels weird and pressured, and you tell me things that you remember or if something's bothering you you've generally started telling me if I just let you be. But dear God woman, you need to learn to volunteer some information.
Love you so much, peanut.
Momma
You started preschool!
You also got us all sick with a germ you picked up from preschool, but that's okay. Kinda normal from what I hear. You've been running around, yelling at your body that "I'm gonna beat you germs! I'm gonna beat you with this soup! Go away!"
You're a positive thinker.
Also, you have watched more TV than...man, enough to make me feel like a bad mom. I mean, we've done other stuff. Painted, made snake families on the floor with painters tape (i.e. lines of tape that we draw faces on...you LOVE this.), we made soup together today. But, still, you've watched a crap ton of TV while being sick. I'm okay with this.
Preschool is so weird for me. I mean, it's GREAT for you. You get to make friends, and see them consistently, you have sweet teachers, you're very stimulated...it's awesome! But it's weird for me! Because I don't get to see you for a large chunk of the day.
And you know what? You can't even tell me about what happened? I ask, and you're like...I don't...Mom, I don't know what I did today. Like this great period of time elapsed and you are literally at a loss to explain what might have filled it.
I can see where moms get super "interrogate-y." Well, did you have a snack? What kind of snack? Were your friends nice? Did anyone hit you? Do you like your teachers? What did you play with? and on and on and on.
I try really hard not to do this, because it feels weird and pressured, and you tell me things that you remember or if something's bothering you you've generally started telling me if I just let you be. But dear God woman, you need to learn to volunteer some information.
Love you so much, peanut.
Momma
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Ena - Oct 18th, 2012
Hi Honey!
I wanted to write you a quick note. Life keeps getting away from me, and I wind up wanting to record so much and getting so little down. It happens fast!
We had a great day today, you and me.
We went to Hobby Lobby (you in a hilariously fluffy white tutu) together and they had put all the Christmas decorations out. You were in heaven. You wanted EVERYTHING, you touched everything (so glad we're to a stage where I trust you with things that are fairly fragile), you made families out of the big and small nutcrackers. You told strangers about your sister.
We bought TONS OF PAINT!
I wonder if when you read this you'll still be as into art as you are right now. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised...it's been fairly stable, art has always been your happy place.
We painted apples today (You traced cardboard shapes of apples and painted them in.) Tomorrow we'll cut them out and glue them to a colored sheet for a background and we'll send them to Alyssa and Heather.
What else was silly about today?
We've been listening to Seeds of Worship: Courage this week--I bought it a few days ago and you listened to nearly the whole thing while I held you and looked out the back door. You've been very sick with the flu and needed some extra cuddle love.
Today, even though you were mid-painting, when I put on the music you came straight over and asked to be held again. We danced together and went bananas crazy bouncing around to "Don't be Anxious!!!" It's cute to watch you try to sing the songs. You'll really know them soon. I wish I had a camera in my brain. I don't want to forget you, open mouthed and smiling and laughing, throwing yourself from side to side, ponytail flying and you bounced up and down in my arms. We were both cracking up so hard.
Well, you're coughing still and I should check on you and then go to bed.
I love you honey. More later.
Love,
Momma
I wanted to write you a quick note. Life keeps getting away from me, and I wind up wanting to record so much and getting so little down. It happens fast!
We had a great day today, you and me.
We went to Hobby Lobby (you in a hilariously fluffy white tutu) together and they had put all the Christmas decorations out. You were in heaven. You wanted EVERYTHING, you touched everything (so glad we're to a stage where I trust you with things that are fairly fragile), you made families out of the big and small nutcrackers. You told strangers about your sister.
We bought TONS OF PAINT!
I wonder if when you read this you'll still be as into art as you are right now. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised...it's been fairly stable, art has always been your happy place.
We painted apples today (You traced cardboard shapes of apples and painted them in.) Tomorrow we'll cut them out and glue them to a colored sheet for a background and we'll send them to Alyssa and Heather.
What else was silly about today?
We've been listening to Seeds of Worship: Courage this week--I bought it a few days ago and you listened to nearly the whole thing while I held you and looked out the back door. You've been very sick with the flu and needed some extra cuddle love.
Today, even though you were mid-painting, when I put on the music you came straight over and asked to be held again. We danced together and went bananas crazy bouncing around to "Don't be Anxious!!!" It's cute to watch you try to sing the songs. You'll really know them soon. I wish I had a camera in my brain. I don't want to forget you, open mouthed and smiling and laughing, throwing yourself from side to side, ponytail flying and you bounced up and down in my arms. We were both cracking up so hard.
Well, you're coughing still and I should check on you and then go to bed.
I love you honey. More later.
Love,
Momma
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Adessa - Sept 9th, 2012
Holy goodness gracious.
Is it really your 5th month anniversary?
Right now, you're sick with your first cold and man...it's a doozy. You are having a hard time sleeping, and this morning, slept on me from 4 until 7 because your cradle was extremely disapproved of :) The whole family is sick, so we've kind of split forces and created teams. Daddy's taking care of Ena, who seems to be on the mend (this whole bug is from her preschool) while he's sick, and Momma and you are buddies.
Of course, we are always buddies. I'm your walking milk maker. SO glad we're still nursing...at least this way, you're getting all my anti-bodies.
How to describe you, my love?
Happy! You're super happy all the time. Very sweet, goodnatured and smily. You're the delight of everybody, because you smile at everybody which sends them into raptures. You have this HUGE smile the size of Texas and your tongue sticks out when you smile and you can tell that you're smiling even from behind because you can see your cheeks go up and your ears move. That and the person holding you falls over because of so much CUTE. I'm sure you'll grow up thinking all grown ups are complete idiots, because they all make themselves idiots just to tempt a smile out of you, and you are happy as a clam to give them out.
Poor thing, coldwise. This is probably the first I've seen you really upset. (Well, that and getting scoped at the ENT, I'm not sure anything will reach that level of PISSED.) Waking up is the worst. I'm betting you've got a sore throat...I certainly do, and when you wake up, you're furious. So we cuddle and I shush you and you can't decide whether you want your pacifier because it makes you feel better, or don't want your pacifier because it's hard to breathe through your nose.
I've been rocking you back and forth saying "I know....I know...this sucks...this really sucks..." which is kind of what I'd like someone to do for me.
Let's see, what else is going on? You have a flat spot on your head that we're trying to change by getting you to sleep on your other side. So far, no dice. So, if you're reading this at 20 and you have a flat spot on your head still, I apologize. I'm hoping you keep the red hair, it's SUCH a cool color.
The laryngomalacia (floppy windpipe, essentially) seems to be getting somewhat better, and for whatever reason, this cold is not affecting your breathing in that way at all. Nose, yes. Throat, no. We've got a lot of people praying for you. The doctor said that a virus could put you all the way back at square one and land you in the hospital for breathing treatments, so I'm so relieved that your breathing seems okay at the moment. Still praying it doesn't move downwards and fuss with your windpipe, but at the minute, you're not pulling for breath like you did in the first months. Thank you Jesus! This cold can suck all it wants if it doesn't mess with your breathing like I was afraid of. Though...I'd rather it stop sucking and go away.
I still need to type up your birth story soon. I don't want to lose any details. I'll have to post Ena's too.
Things I want to remember:
The way you look when you wake up in the mornings. Giant smiles, wriggled out of your swaddle popping out like a little daisy, kicking and squirming like "Mom! I've got legs! Mom? You awake? See my legs!? Haha, arms! Armsarmsarmsarmsarms!!!!"
The way you divebomb at anything that looks like it might give you milk when you're hungry. Huge guppy mouth sucking on my shoulder, my arm, dad's finger, you just hurl your whole body in the general direction and hope for the best.
How happy you are in your baths. You love the water and are happy to sit there chewing your washcloth, Momma or Ena pouring water over your tummy. (Other than tonight, we tried a bath tonight, me cleverly believing you would feel better. Nope. I evoked much wrath with this decision.)
Alright, sweetheart. Dad's coming back with ice cream for the sick adults and then I'm crawling in bed next to you. Here's to some (hopefully) sleep!
Friday, July 13, 2012
Adessa - July 14th, 2012
Hi baby!
Holy crap, are you one cute baby or what? I'll be doing a little backtracking to fill you in on your birth story and the lead up to now, but man, do we ever delight in you. As Dad says, your smiles are like crack and you give them out all the time! You're just pure joy, sweetheart.
This is what I get to wake up to every morning.
This is just how you wake up. All the time! You're about as happy as can be and it absolutely slays me.
You can also see the tail of your scorpion that you sleep with. You were having trouble falling asleep and liked to hold my finger while you were drifting off, so I tried to find a lovey for you that you could hold onto like my finger. So I found a stingray and a scorpion and you grabbed onto the goofy scorpion (he's kind of cute, really) and hung on for dear life. It kills me the way you clutch his tail and his claw and wriggle around until you fall asleep.
I always laugh when we have to be like, "Where's Adessa's scorpion!? She needs her scorpion." Who even makes a scorpion stuffed animal. So funny.
Yesterday we had to take you to the doctor. By the time you're reading this you'll probably have outgrown everything or have had surgery, but at this point in life, you breathe really funny. It's almost like you have something deep in your throat. It makes me want to clear MY throat. It's worse on the inhale, worse right after you eat and best when you're in a deep sleep. Pretty much everyone that holds you is like, "Is she sick?" Nope, that's just how you breathe.
When you were first born, it was bad. Really bad. You would pull for air so hard and top breathing for ten seconds at a time and you would have the episodes where you would breathe fast and erratic and you could see your stomach and neck muscles retracting. I never knew what to do...it was so scary.
I took you to the doctors in our practice several times, and each one of them said..."She's a baby, they make a lot of noise when they breathe. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine." Finally, I got so sick of it (because you would make noise when I would bring you in, but you wouldn't have a really bad episode in the doctors office.) that your Nana got us an appt with an ENT and we took you yesterday to get scoped.
That sucked. They had to put numbing stuff in your little nose and slide a scope up through your nose and down through your sinuses to see your vocal cords. And we were right! You have something called laryngomalacia, floppy tissue over your vocal cords that can be a hindrance when you breathe. It sounds like some cases are really severe to the point where babies can't eat, so we're lucky that yours is such a mild case. However, we have to make sure it gets better as you grow. If it gets worse, they have to scope you again (I CANNOT even explain how pissed you were. Red as a tomato) and possible put you all the way under. I'm really praying and hoping that we can avoid all of that and that you just grow out of it on your own which is very likely.
But after the procedure, you were very upset for the rest of the day and just wanted to sleep on me. So we cuddled bunches and I will take that any day.
I've got to go to bed now. I'm falling asleep while typing. You got up at 5:30 (eat and then sleep until 7:30/8) but my brain wouldn't shut up once I was awake so I had to get up and do stuff. Now I can barely keep my eyes open.
I love you so much sweetheart!!!
Love,
Momma
Holy crap, are you one cute baby or what? I'll be doing a little backtracking to fill you in on your birth story and the lead up to now, but man, do we ever delight in you. As Dad says, your smiles are like crack and you give them out all the time! You're just pure joy, sweetheart.
This is what I get to wake up to every morning.
This is just how you wake up. All the time! You're about as happy as can be and it absolutely slays me.
You can also see the tail of your scorpion that you sleep with. You were having trouble falling asleep and liked to hold my finger while you were drifting off, so I tried to find a lovey for you that you could hold onto like my finger. So I found a stingray and a scorpion and you grabbed onto the goofy scorpion (he's kind of cute, really) and hung on for dear life. It kills me the way you clutch his tail and his claw and wriggle around until you fall asleep.
Yesterday we had to take you to the doctor. By the time you're reading this you'll probably have outgrown everything or have had surgery, but at this point in life, you breathe really funny. It's almost like you have something deep in your throat. It makes me want to clear MY throat. It's worse on the inhale, worse right after you eat and best when you're in a deep sleep. Pretty much everyone that holds you is like, "Is she sick?" Nope, that's just how you breathe.
When you were first born, it was bad. Really bad. You would pull for air so hard and top breathing for ten seconds at a time and you would have the episodes where you would breathe fast and erratic and you could see your stomach and neck muscles retracting. I never knew what to do...it was so scary.
I took you to the doctors in our practice several times, and each one of them said..."She's a baby, they make a lot of noise when they breathe. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine." Finally, I got so sick of it (because you would make noise when I would bring you in, but you wouldn't have a really bad episode in the doctors office.) that your Nana got us an appt with an ENT and we took you yesterday to get scoped.
That sucked. They had to put numbing stuff in your little nose and slide a scope up through your nose and down through your sinuses to see your vocal cords. And we were right! You have something called laryngomalacia, floppy tissue over your vocal cords that can be a hindrance when you breathe. It sounds like some cases are really severe to the point where babies can't eat, so we're lucky that yours is such a mild case. However, we have to make sure it gets better as you grow. If it gets worse, they have to scope you again (I CANNOT even explain how pissed you were. Red as a tomato) and possible put you all the way under. I'm really praying and hoping that we can avoid all of that and that you just grow out of it on your own which is very likely.
But after the procedure, you were very upset for the rest of the day and just wanted to sleep on me. So we cuddled bunches and I will take that any day.
I've got to go to bed now. I'm falling asleep while typing. You got up at 5:30 (eat and then sleep until 7:30/8) but my brain wouldn't shut up once I was awake so I had to get up and do stuff. Now I can barely keep my eyes open.
I love you so much sweetheart!!!
Love,
Momma
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Ena - July 10th, 2012
Hi Ena girl!
You're sleeping at the moment. (I think)
Man, so much has happened in the last couple of months I'm not even sure where to start.
Well, first, Adessa was born. It was an interesting transition. You stayed with Grandma and Grandpa for three or four nights (at that point, night and day doesn't really have much reference) and I kept wanting to get home so you could be in your own bed and your own space again. Adessa had some other plans.
But you came to the hospital and we had the cutest family love fest ever.
You loved her right from the start. Our problem has never been jealousy and too this day I don't think you've ever expressed jealousy or anger towards her. It's almost been reigning in the love you've got and trying to keep you from squashing her! Even now, in the mornings when you see her for the first time you always say "Adeeeeesssa!!!" And run a give her a hug.
(I'd rather have that problem.)
Not to say it was perfectly smooth. Because of the close quarters of the Elgin house and your intense desire to love on your sister, all of a sudden it seemed like there was tons of "No, Ena." "Be quiet, Ena." "You can't, Ena." Can't swing the baby in the swing, Can't stomp around while the baby is sleeping, Can't go outside right now.
Trust me, we were both frustrated and my heart broke for you because you were just being a kid. We went on as many walks as possible just so you could run around without me having to say no!
Then something happened!
Nana decided that we needed to move ASAP. So she decided to give Daddy a large chunk of what she had inherited from his grandmother Eris (your great grandma. She passed away while I was pregnant with you.) Someday I'll tell the story about how great-grandma's husband's kids stole all her money while she had dementia. The only thing that Nana got from her mother was the house, and she gave a large chunk of the money from that to us.
Anyways, Dad decided that he was going to start looking at houses. He looked at several, and they were all nice but too small, or big but in terrible condition. Then he called me and said, "I found our house."
Can I tell you this? I never saw the house before we put a bid on it. We won the house in days! it was crazy. Then someone put a bid on our house! Also crazy. That fell through.
During all this, your Papa-Bob started getting worse. He couldn't remember much and started to hallucinate at night. I think Nana about ran herself into the ground trying to take care of him.
He passed away about a month after Adessa was born. You and your sister were some of the last people he was really conscious for. I think he had been waiting to see you guys. After that, he fell asleep and didn't wake back up.
I want you to know that he loved you very very very much. I think my favorite memory of him with you was when we went on a weekend vacation with Nana and Papa to Lake Geneva. We would do the continental breakfast with them every morning and you would sit next to Papa and he would slip you bits of donuts "secretly." You loved it.
The funeral was a few days later. It's been weird to process Papa dying with you, because you definitely knew something was going on. Dad called me the morning that it happened and we turned off the TV for me to tell you that Papa had died. I asked you if you knew what that meant and you said, "He went to go live with Jesus."
Yup, that about sums it up. We talked about how we would miss him and he wouldn't be here with us any more and that when people's bodies are old or sick, sometimes they stop working and die.
There's not a lot that you're satisfied with right now. We've talked about death, God, how Jesus lives in our hearts, how can Papa be with God, how did Adessa get in my tummy and er...how babies come out, and you have so many questions that it's hard to not wind up in some left field philosophical discussion that's way over your head.
Try explaining souls to a four year old.
We've processed Papa's death together a lot as it comes up. Passing gravestones we talk about how Papa has one and it's to help us remember him, seeing Nana, but not Papa, and occasionally you just miss him. I get that. It also comes up in play or conversation, the whole death thing. Your dolls get sick and the other dolls "talk" about how she's going to die, or you've had a cold for the past two days and asked me today if you were old and going to die. However, you trust me when I say no, and it hasn't seemed to rattle you much, but you're definitely exploring the theme of it.
We closed on the house soon after Papa's funeral.
Then after ALL that change, Dad was gone fixing up our new house for us to live in and it was just you, me and Adessa for awhile. We boxed up stuff, people visited us, and Dad was in and out occasionally.
Finally, it was moving day and we cleared out so Dad could move us. We went with Grandma and Grandpa and had a ball with them for five days so Dad and Nana could settle the house. (Lemme tell you, it was weird to let someone else move us. Also, I had only seen the house once for 20 minutes prior to us moving in.)
Finally, we arrived! You took to your new room (and new freaking BED!) like a champ and have been overwhelmingly positive about the house the whole time.
You can be loud downstairs while Dessa sleeps. You can run around in your new backyard. You have your own big room with all your toys in it and have done really well all over. You've also gotten more attached to your Daddy now that you've been able to be around him and see him every day. Not that it was bad before, but we had three days in the middle of the week where it was rare for you to see him, and then four days where he would be around a lot more. I'm actually a little nervous now for when he goes on the mission trip. I think it's going to affect you a lot more this time that it has ever before.
Phew. I think we're caught up. You're out iceskating with Dad right now and we'll see how that goes :)
Love you so much lady. I'm loving who you are and the games we play together. You're my joy.
Love,
Momma
Friday, March 23, 2012
Ena - March 23rd, 2012
Wow, little one! We're almost going to be a family of four!
Crazy stuff.
I always hoped that we would have you two a little closer together, but I have loved loved loved getting almost four years to get to know YOU! You are sweet and thoughtful, fiery and hilarious, and really doing your best to learn how to be obedient even when it's REALLY, really hard. This has been your hard work lately.
I love how you love your sister. This evening when Grandma and Grandpa brought you home, you hugged my tummy first and yelled "Adessa!!! I missssssed you!" I really hope we can walk you two through all the sibling stuff in a way where you guys are always close. I'm so excited for you to have a sister.
Super funny. Daddy has started kissing your hand and saying "My Princess." The first time he did that, your eyes about set on fire and your face practically split from the smile. You were like, FINALLY! SOMEONE KNOWS WHO I AM!!! You're a total girl, princesses, ballerinas, jewelry, hair, dolls, you want to see how you look...so funny what gets built in. You're not bad (read: diva) about it in any way, but you definitely are drawn to the typical girl stuff.
We've been "playing" preschool--you're starting to write your letters if I remind you how to do it. And your counting is getting better--you can count well, but if you're counting actual items you tend to be like "whatever" and not match objects to numbers just point at things and counting them three times.
Alright honey, momma's going to head towards bed. I love you SO much and I miss you when you're sleeping. Can't wait to play tomorrow!! Erin is bringing MacKenzie and Evie over and I'm sure you all will tire each other out like crazy!
Crazy stuff.
I always hoped that we would have you two a little closer together, but I have loved loved loved getting almost four years to get to know YOU! You are sweet and thoughtful, fiery and hilarious, and really doing your best to learn how to be obedient even when it's REALLY, really hard. This has been your hard work lately.
I love how you love your sister. This evening when Grandma and Grandpa brought you home, you hugged my tummy first and yelled "Adessa!!! I missssssed you!" I really hope we can walk you two through all the sibling stuff in a way where you guys are always close. I'm so excited for you to have a sister.
Super funny. Daddy has started kissing your hand and saying "My Princess." The first time he did that, your eyes about set on fire and your face practically split from the smile. You were like, FINALLY! SOMEONE KNOWS WHO I AM!!! You're a total girl, princesses, ballerinas, jewelry, hair, dolls, you want to see how you look...so funny what gets built in. You're not bad (read: diva) about it in any way, but you definitely are drawn to the typical girl stuff.
We've been "playing" preschool--you're starting to write your letters if I remind you how to do it. And your counting is getting better--you can count well, but if you're counting actual items you tend to be like "whatever" and not match objects to numbers just point at things and counting them three times.
Alright honey, momma's going to head towards bed. I love you SO much and I miss you when you're sleeping. Can't wait to play tomorrow!! Erin is bringing MacKenzie and Evie over and I'm sure you all will tire each other out like crazy!
Adessa - March 23rd, 2021
Come out! Come out! Come out!
Not that I wasn't excited before, but it's starting to get really real! I can't wait to have you here, so I can squash your cheeks and cuddle your and play with your feet (while simultaneously not having them kicking my internal organs.)
Last weekend, I went through and sorted all of Ena and your clothes, and squashed Ena's stuff into half her drawers and put your onesies and sleepers into the other drawers. And I put together your cradle. We still need to settle the carseat issue (whether we're buying a new one or using the one we used with Ena.) but we're pretty much as ready as we're going to be.
I had my last ultrasound yesterday with you (I had to do one more past the last one because they wanted to do a growth check). They showed me your brain! And your four chambered beating heart! Such cool stuff. They say you're measuring at 6 lbs 13 oz, plus or minus a pound, so we've graduated to being able to birth you when you decide (they've been talking about induction, which I am NOT a fan of.) because you've reached the goal weight and then some. SLASH you're not going to be the 10 lb moosey that Ena was, so I'm actually a lot more relaxed heading into labor.
I'm seeing pictures of other babies that were just born and I can't wait until we have our own squashy peanut to love on. I just want to get on to the next phase of figuring stuff out together, and seeing how our new little family fits together. Mommy's bad at waiting. That and nine months is a long time to know something's coming.
There's been a few contractions here and there...and I'm already dialated to 2 cm. It'll probably be a little bit yet, but I'm hoping that it'll be sooner rather than later.
I'm so curious about who you are, and I know it'll be a long time in coming to discover all of that, but at least I'll get some questions answered--what do you look like? What color hair will you have? What's your temperament going to be like?
All in all, come out here. Mommy wants to play! (So does Daddy. He keeps talking about how he wants his baby snuggles AND Ena comes in every morning saying "ADESSA! Come out!!! It's time to come out now!" So far you've been ignoring her, but I can't wait to see how you guys are with each other. I love you baby, see you soon!
Love,
Momma
Not that I wasn't excited before, but it's starting to get really real! I can't wait to have you here, so I can squash your cheeks and cuddle your and play with your feet (while simultaneously not having them kicking my internal organs.)
Last weekend, I went through and sorted all of Ena and your clothes, and squashed Ena's stuff into half her drawers and put your onesies and sleepers into the other drawers. And I put together your cradle. We still need to settle the carseat issue (whether we're buying a new one or using the one we used with Ena.) but we're pretty much as ready as we're going to be.
I had my last ultrasound yesterday with you (I had to do one more past the last one because they wanted to do a growth check). They showed me your brain! And your four chambered beating heart! Such cool stuff. They say you're measuring at 6 lbs 13 oz, plus or minus a pound, so we've graduated to being able to birth you when you decide (they've been talking about induction, which I am NOT a fan of.) because you've reached the goal weight and then some. SLASH you're not going to be the 10 lb moosey that Ena was, so I'm actually a lot more relaxed heading into labor.
I'm seeing pictures of other babies that were just born and I can't wait until we have our own squashy peanut to love on. I just want to get on to the next phase of figuring stuff out together, and seeing how our new little family fits together. Mommy's bad at waiting. That and nine months is a long time to know something's coming.
There's been a few contractions here and there...and I'm already dialated to 2 cm. It'll probably be a little bit yet, but I'm hoping that it'll be sooner rather than later.
I'm so curious about who you are, and I know it'll be a long time in coming to discover all of that, but at least I'll get some questions answered--what do you look like? What color hair will you have? What's your temperament going to be like?
All in all, come out here. Mommy wants to play! (So does Daddy. He keeps talking about how he wants his baby snuggles AND Ena comes in every morning saying "ADESSA! Come out!!! It's time to come out now!" So far you've been ignoring her, but I can't wait to see how you guys are with each other. I love you baby, see you soon!
Love,
Momma
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Adessa - February 19th, 2012
Hi little lady!
Well, you had your BIG ultrasound the other day. (I should figure out how to put the pics up...but to be frank, ultrasound shots are so hard to figure out anyways, it would probably not look like much.) The day before, I could barely walk. According to my doctor, you were breach and sitting on my ligaments that connect the two sides of my pelvis in front and...holy crap. It makes any leg movement SO painful. Walking, getting up, (though moving only one leg is the worst!) With Ena's pregnancy, I would go for walks and do yoga, with you...sometimes it's difficult just sitting.
So a sunday ago, I went with your Dad to church and was feeling AWFUL. To the point where he had to drive me back home the hour and a half before youth group that night, and then drive back to run AtF. The fact that I asked him to drive an extra three hours to take me home should let you know how much pain I was in. I could barely walk, stairs were out of the question, any movement was excruciating. In fact, my parents came over to take care of Ena so that I could sit there like a giant lump and do nothing. (and nap)
I lay on an upside down incline for about 30 minutes, and you were moving around like CRAZY. I thought I felt you change, but just couldn't tell...and then when I woke up, I felt WORSE.
Fast forward to the next morning before the ultrasound, and it felt like a lot of the pressure was gone. It still hurt, but not anywhere close to what the day before was. Then we go for the ultrasound and they tell us that you flipped over and were head down now! Hooray! This means I can have you naturally, instead of the C-section that they were thinking about.
They showed us SO much in that ultrasound. It was crazy! We got to see your little face (poor thing, you're all smashed up against the uterine wall...it's getting tight in there!) and you have hair!!! (which means we're guessing that my hair won again and you'll be darker haired like Ena and me.) We got to see your spine, and kidneys, and two of the coolest moments were when they showed your heart. We could see all four chambers of your hear pumping, and then they turned on the doppler radar to show the blood flow through both sides, which showed that your heart walls were well-formed and there wasn't crossover between the two. You have chubby cheeks and chubby legs, and long feet. The other thing that was the absolute coolest was the tech zoomed in on your eye and we could see you blinking and looking around. You could actually see your iris moving back and forth like you were watching something. I have no idea what, but it was awesome!
They said that you are just a little on the smaller side, but you're perfect. Because Ena was SO BIG, they figured that you would follow suit. Apparently, you march to the beat of your own drum, kiddo. They project you to come out around 7 lbs, which is actually making me SO happy, because if I naturally birthed a 10 lb baby, you should be a snap. Actually, I'm a little relieved. Phew! (Now, I just need to control my sugar intake so I don't inadvertently make you huge (or colicky, when you have to do the withdrawal out here.) Must. Eat. Less. Sugar.
Now that you're head down, I feel a little better, but it's still pretty bad. I may go to physical therapy, but I'm not sure yet what I want to do. But now you're kicking up high and your daddy plays "chase the foot" when you get all wiggly. We love you sweetie, and can't wait to meet you!
Get cooked and then come out!!!
Love,
Momma
Well, you had your BIG ultrasound the other day. (I should figure out how to put the pics up...but to be frank, ultrasound shots are so hard to figure out anyways, it would probably not look like much.) The day before, I could barely walk. According to my doctor, you were breach and sitting on my ligaments that connect the two sides of my pelvis in front and...holy crap. It makes any leg movement SO painful. Walking, getting up, (though moving only one leg is the worst!) With Ena's pregnancy, I would go for walks and do yoga, with you...sometimes it's difficult just sitting.
So a sunday ago, I went with your Dad to church and was feeling AWFUL. To the point where he had to drive me back home the hour and a half before youth group that night, and then drive back to run AtF. The fact that I asked him to drive an extra three hours to take me home should let you know how much pain I was in. I could barely walk, stairs were out of the question, any movement was excruciating. In fact, my parents came over to take care of Ena so that I could sit there like a giant lump and do nothing. (and nap)
I lay on an upside down incline for about 30 minutes, and you were moving around like CRAZY. I thought I felt you change, but just couldn't tell...and then when I woke up, I felt WORSE.
Fast forward to the next morning before the ultrasound, and it felt like a lot of the pressure was gone. It still hurt, but not anywhere close to what the day before was. Then we go for the ultrasound and they tell us that you flipped over and were head down now! Hooray! This means I can have you naturally, instead of the C-section that they were thinking about.
They showed us SO much in that ultrasound. It was crazy! We got to see your little face (poor thing, you're all smashed up against the uterine wall...it's getting tight in there!) and you have hair!!! (which means we're guessing that my hair won again and you'll be darker haired like Ena and me.) We got to see your spine, and kidneys, and two of the coolest moments were when they showed your heart. We could see all four chambers of your hear pumping, and then they turned on the doppler radar to show the blood flow through both sides, which showed that your heart walls were well-formed and there wasn't crossover between the two. You have chubby cheeks and chubby legs, and long feet. The other thing that was the absolute coolest was the tech zoomed in on your eye and we could see you blinking and looking around. You could actually see your iris moving back and forth like you were watching something. I have no idea what, but it was awesome!
They said that you are just a little on the smaller side, but you're perfect. Because Ena was SO BIG, they figured that you would follow suit. Apparently, you march to the beat of your own drum, kiddo. They project you to come out around 7 lbs, which is actually making me SO happy, because if I naturally birthed a 10 lb baby, you should be a snap. Actually, I'm a little relieved. Phew! (Now, I just need to control my sugar intake so I don't inadvertently make you huge (or colicky, when you have to do the withdrawal out here.) Must. Eat. Less. Sugar.
Now that you're head down, I feel a little better, but it's still pretty bad. I may go to physical therapy, but I'm not sure yet what I want to do. But now you're kicking up high and your daddy plays "chase the foot" when you get all wiggly. We love you sweetie, and can't wait to meet you!
Get cooked and then come out!!!
Love,
Momma
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Ena - February 15th, 2012
Hi love!
I've been praying for you a bunch today. I wish my prayer life was more consistent...it's hard for me sometime to remember to connect with something as subtle as God is. My brain tends to focus on what is right in front of me. I keep idealizing women that can keep their homes in perfect order, live lives of prayer warriors for their children and exude patience. I don't think they really exist, exactly in that form, but their ghosts are everywhere. I don't measure up by half.
I'm growing melancholy as the winter gets deeper, I think.
Here's what I've been praying. I pray for JOY for you. In abundance. I pray that within your heart lies a spirit that is up for fun, gets inspired by things of beauty, and can invite others into that joy. You have bunches of joy so much of the time (especially any time you're with other kids) and it makes me so happy to see.
I pray for courage! Courage to make friends, courage to try new things, courage to face stuff you're afraid of. Courage to speak your mind, courage to befriend the friendless, courage to seek out the truth about who God is.
I pray for the right friends for you. I think that makes such a difference in how you trust people, the friends that you have when you're growing up. I know that you will go through heartache, I know that that heartache will give you empathy for others, but my holy father above, I want you to have a few strong steady loving friends that you can be yourself with, that you can be a giant goofball with, that you can be truthful with, that will support you and that you can support. I pray that friendship betrayal and bullying is warded away from you as much as possible.
I pray that I can break some of the chains that run in our family for you. My parents broke some for me (lack of affection and love into a warm family of love) I pray that I can break the chains of temper. The chains of eating addictions and using food as medicine. I pray that you never learn to reject yourself for fear that others will reject you if you don't.
And I pray that I don't break you! I pray that the little words I say, or frustration I show, any lack of patience, and this weird limbo of being far from our friends doesn't alter who you are, and that it falls away from you like water off of oil. I want your personality to stay as intact as possible.
Today, on the way to the doctors, we were talking and telling stories back and forth (mostly of how you were brave, and protecting your friends, and some stories about when you were born, because it helps you connect to Adessa) you told me that you were angry because your baby was crying. And then you said, "For Pete SAKES!"...I've heard that "for pete sakes," before...out of my own mouth when you were crying. And I try to tell myself that it's different, and there are things that are different because a lot of times you're crying over things where it really doesn't make much sense the EMOTION you're feeling compared to the cause, or it's something that has to happen and you're pissed about it...or it's a manipulative cry of sorts where you want me to stay in the room or do something you want...
But I recognized it. You said that to your doll because I've said that to you.
Well, my heart crumpled. I can be a great mom, and I can be a short-tempered crabby mom. Both of them live inside of me. I wish I could evict Mrs. Crabby, but I'm not sure how yet.
We talked further, about how I've said that to you before, and that it expresses frustration. We also talked about how mommy was sorry for when she was frustrated when you've cried and next time Mommy will stop and hug you when you cry. So that's my plan. We're very different people, babes, with very different wiring and that's all good. I'm going to do my best to learn how to handle my goofy frustrations so I can help you work through how you feel. We'll grow in this together. I needed an Ena to push me into learning this lesson.
Goofy things:
We took you to the Rainforest Cafe yesterday for Valentine's day (or Balentimes, as you like to call it.) and HOLY CRAP, were you enthralled. You weren't nearly as afraid as I thought you would be. You kept yelling "This is the BEST. RESTAURANT. EVER!!!! and we had to take dinner breaks to walk you over to the elephants or gorillas. You were just so excited the whole time. Not a big fan of the thunderstorm (as you told the waitress several times) but you just couldn't get enough of looking at the rain wall and the steam and all the animals. I can't wait to take you back! Everything was the BEST. EVER.
Then we went to the serpent safari right across the way (not all the way in, because we're waiting for when one of our girls Emma is working) but a girl had a yellow and white python outside the store around her shoulders. You walked right up to her and wanted to pet the snake, no fear or nothing. You keep describing it as SOFT. I was really really proud of you.
Also, today on the way home you were telling me that you were NOT TIRED, but that you just needed to "rest your eyes" for a few minutes. Well, that's turned into a two hour nap :)
I love you peanut. I'm excited for who you are and who you're growing into. Keep being you!!!
I love you!
I've been praying for you a bunch today. I wish my prayer life was more consistent...it's hard for me sometime to remember to connect with something as subtle as God is. My brain tends to focus on what is right in front of me. I keep idealizing women that can keep their homes in perfect order, live lives of prayer warriors for their children and exude patience. I don't think they really exist, exactly in that form, but their ghosts are everywhere. I don't measure up by half.
I'm growing melancholy as the winter gets deeper, I think.
Here's what I've been praying. I pray for JOY for you. In abundance. I pray that within your heart lies a spirit that is up for fun, gets inspired by things of beauty, and can invite others into that joy. You have bunches of joy so much of the time (especially any time you're with other kids) and it makes me so happy to see.
I pray for courage! Courage to make friends, courage to try new things, courage to face stuff you're afraid of. Courage to speak your mind, courage to befriend the friendless, courage to seek out the truth about who God is.
I pray for the right friends for you. I think that makes such a difference in how you trust people, the friends that you have when you're growing up. I know that you will go through heartache, I know that that heartache will give you empathy for others, but my holy father above, I want you to have a few strong steady loving friends that you can be yourself with, that you can be a giant goofball with, that you can be truthful with, that will support you and that you can support. I pray that friendship betrayal and bullying is warded away from you as much as possible.
I pray that I can break some of the chains that run in our family for you. My parents broke some for me (lack of affection and love into a warm family of love) I pray that I can break the chains of temper. The chains of eating addictions and using food as medicine. I pray that you never learn to reject yourself for fear that others will reject you if you don't.
And I pray that I don't break you! I pray that the little words I say, or frustration I show, any lack of patience, and this weird limbo of being far from our friends doesn't alter who you are, and that it falls away from you like water off of oil. I want your personality to stay as intact as possible.
Today, on the way to the doctors, we were talking and telling stories back and forth (mostly of how you were brave, and protecting your friends, and some stories about when you were born, because it helps you connect to Adessa) you told me that you were angry because your baby was crying. And then you said, "For Pete SAKES!"...I've heard that "for pete sakes," before...out of my own mouth when you were crying. And I try to tell myself that it's different, and there are things that are different because a lot of times you're crying over things where it really doesn't make much sense the EMOTION you're feeling compared to the cause, or it's something that has to happen and you're pissed about it...or it's a manipulative cry of sorts where you want me to stay in the room or do something you want...
But I recognized it. You said that to your doll because I've said that to you.
Well, my heart crumpled. I can be a great mom, and I can be a short-tempered crabby mom. Both of them live inside of me. I wish I could evict Mrs. Crabby, but I'm not sure how yet.
We talked further, about how I've said that to you before, and that it expresses frustration. We also talked about how mommy was sorry for when she was frustrated when you've cried and next time Mommy will stop and hug you when you cry. So that's my plan. We're very different people, babes, with very different wiring and that's all good. I'm going to do my best to learn how to handle my goofy frustrations so I can help you work through how you feel. We'll grow in this together. I needed an Ena to push me into learning this lesson.
Goofy things:
We took you to the Rainforest Cafe yesterday for Valentine's day (or Balentimes, as you like to call it.) and HOLY CRAP, were you enthralled. You weren't nearly as afraid as I thought you would be. You kept yelling "This is the BEST. RESTAURANT. EVER!!!! and we had to take dinner breaks to walk you over to the elephants or gorillas. You were just so excited the whole time. Not a big fan of the thunderstorm (as you told the waitress several times) but you just couldn't get enough of looking at the rain wall and the steam and all the animals. I can't wait to take you back! Everything was the BEST. EVER.
Then we went to the serpent safari right across the way (not all the way in, because we're waiting for when one of our girls Emma is working) but a girl had a yellow and white python outside the store around her shoulders. You walked right up to her and wanted to pet the snake, no fear or nothing. You keep describing it as SOFT. I was really really proud of you.
Also, today on the way home you were telling me that you were NOT TIRED, but that you just needed to "rest your eyes" for a few minutes. Well, that's turned into a two hour nap :)
I love you peanut. I'm excited for who you are and who you're growing into. Keep being you!!!
I love you!
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Ena - February 8th, 2012
Oh woman, I think it may be time to declare our naps lost.
I don't think you've actually taken a nap in...at least two weeks. OR if you have, it's because we've put you down at like, four o'clock and then you refuse to go to sleep at night until 10 or 11 or so. I'm honestly not sure what to do, like right now, you got up in the middle of the night with a bad dream (something about a really loud car that woke you up. And your voice gets all quivery after a bad dream, it's so heart breaking.) So we talked and snuggled for awhile, and then you woke up again about 20 minutes later and talked and snuggled with Daddy...and then I couldn't sleep because while you were quiet, you rustled around in your crib for an HOUR after that.
Today you have dark circles under your eyes and you keep getting hiccups (both a mommy and Ena sign of TIRED!), but you're in your crib...refusing to sleep. I don't think it's that you don't need a nap...I think it's that you can't get yourself to lie down and take one until you're UBER tired at bedtime. I don't know. I was REALLY hoping you'd hold onto them until Adessa was here for awhile (or like, forever) and now...I basically make you "rest" in your crib for an hour, and then give you books for another half an hour...that's not necessarily a great mommy nap, if you know what I mean. I'm gonna have to figure this all out.
I feel at a loss to figure everything out. Also, our house is a complete disaster and it's overwhelming me. And for some reason, I want to make a zillion things, and buy a zillion more and just don't feel satisfied. I've gotta remember that it's February...and February and I never really get along very well.
I'm also feeling discouraged that our house hasn't sold or even had any showings for the past month or so. A few and then nothing again. I guess I really don't understand it. I want to get out there so that we can take care of our kids and our leaders, so we can settle you in a preschool, so I have a place to put Adessa that's not a drawer, and so I can make a little nest for us. And so your dad can be around us a lot more, and isn't exhausted from driving SO MUCH all the time. I hate being in a liminal phase and I feel like EVERYTHING is just ABOUT to transition, and I just have to wait and wait and wait until it finally does, but I don't know when it will.
Doing my best to enjoy life and YOU right now. I gave you a photo box today, and you've been putting all your "treasures" inside of it. We made lots of playdough snakes today and I let you watch more TV than normal because somehow, after lunch, your blues clues video started up and holy crap, if I can separate you from Blue. So I gave in and just let you watch...
And...are you sleeping right now? I'm not hearing the normal rustling...
Shhhh...
Love,
Momma
I don't think you've actually taken a nap in...at least two weeks. OR if you have, it's because we've put you down at like, four o'clock and then you refuse to go to sleep at night until 10 or 11 or so. I'm honestly not sure what to do, like right now, you got up in the middle of the night with a bad dream (something about a really loud car that woke you up. And your voice gets all quivery after a bad dream, it's so heart breaking.) So we talked and snuggled for awhile, and then you woke up again about 20 minutes later and talked and snuggled with Daddy...and then I couldn't sleep because while you were quiet, you rustled around in your crib for an HOUR after that.
Today you have dark circles under your eyes and you keep getting hiccups (both a mommy and Ena sign of TIRED!), but you're in your crib...refusing to sleep. I don't think it's that you don't need a nap...I think it's that you can't get yourself to lie down and take one until you're UBER tired at bedtime. I don't know. I was REALLY hoping you'd hold onto them until Adessa was here for awhile (or like, forever) and now...I basically make you "rest" in your crib for an hour, and then give you books for another half an hour...that's not necessarily a great mommy nap, if you know what I mean. I'm gonna have to figure this all out.
I feel at a loss to figure everything out. Also, our house is a complete disaster and it's overwhelming me. And for some reason, I want to make a zillion things, and buy a zillion more and just don't feel satisfied. I've gotta remember that it's February...and February and I never really get along very well.
I'm also feeling discouraged that our house hasn't sold or even had any showings for the past month or so. A few and then nothing again. I guess I really don't understand it. I want to get out there so that we can take care of our kids and our leaders, so we can settle you in a preschool, so I have a place to put Adessa that's not a drawer, and so I can make a little nest for us. And so your dad can be around us a lot more, and isn't exhausted from driving SO MUCH all the time. I hate being in a liminal phase and I feel like EVERYTHING is just ABOUT to transition, and I just have to wait and wait and wait until it finally does, but I don't know when it will.
Doing my best to enjoy life and YOU right now. I gave you a photo box today, and you've been putting all your "treasures" inside of it. We made lots of playdough snakes today and I let you watch more TV than normal because somehow, after lunch, your blues clues video started up and holy crap, if I can separate you from Blue. So I gave in and just let you watch...
And...are you sleeping right now? I'm not hearing the normal rustling...
Shhhh...
Love,
Momma
Monday, February 6, 2012
Adessa - February 6th, 2012
Hi there, little creature!
You are currently kicking the crap out of me! Something about the way you are sitting is unbelievable weird feeling, like you keep kicking organs or the inside of my bellybutton. You've grown since the "we're afraid she's not growing properly" incident, so I'm much less afraid. My uterus is already over 2 cms bigger (which means you're bigger), and your kicks have moved from these things I noticed to these things that occasionally HURT!
Our official level 2 ultrasound is a week from today, but I'm not worried. I AM worried that you are still breech. Your little butt is sitting right on the ligaments that attach the two sides of my pelvis, and making them enflamed and painful. Moving one leg at a time is a joke (which means my walk looks like I'm hauling one side and then the other side of my body forward). It's very attractive, I'm sure. It's also creating a stabbing sensation in my crotch whenever I move. Isn't that awesome? Ugh, pregnancy and me are not friends. Add heartburn and feeling like a whale...yikes.
I feel unprepared materially (We need a cradle, I'd still love to MOVE, we need more baby clothes)--but I'm really ready for this phase to be over. I just want to meet you and get started on our lives together. I want to see what you look like, and watch your little personality emerge. I'm also a little freaked out about what to do when I have two kiddos, and would kind of like to stop living in the what ifs, and figure out how to make it happen.
I'm sure I will look back at this post and be yelling at myself "GO TO SLEEP! SLEEP WHILE YOU CAN, WOMAN!!!"
I will pay attention to my future self now.
Also, flip over.
I love you desperately already.
Momma
You are currently kicking the crap out of me! Something about the way you are sitting is unbelievable weird feeling, like you keep kicking organs or the inside of my bellybutton. You've grown since the "we're afraid she's not growing properly" incident, so I'm much less afraid. My uterus is already over 2 cms bigger (which means you're bigger), and your kicks have moved from these things I noticed to these things that occasionally HURT!
Our official level 2 ultrasound is a week from today, but I'm not worried. I AM worried that you are still breech. Your little butt is sitting right on the ligaments that attach the two sides of my pelvis, and making them enflamed and painful. Moving one leg at a time is a joke (which means my walk looks like I'm hauling one side and then the other side of my body forward). It's very attractive, I'm sure. It's also creating a stabbing sensation in my crotch whenever I move. Isn't that awesome? Ugh, pregnancy and me are not friends. Add heartburn and feeling like a whale...yikes.
I feel unprepared materially (We need a cradle, I'd still love to MOVE, we need more baby clothes)--but I'm really ready for this phase to be over. I just want to meet you and get started on our lives together. I want to see what you look like, and watch your little personality emerge. I'm also a little freaked out about what to do when I have two kiddos, and would kind of like to stop living in the what ifs, and figure out how to make it happen.
I'm sure I will look back at this post and be yelling at myself "GO TO SLEEP! SLEEP WHILE YOU CAN, WOMAN!!!"
I will pay attention to my future self now.
Also, flip over.
I love you desperately already.
Momma
Ena - February 6th, 2012
Oh my silly girl.
I love what a little momma you're becoming. I think Adessa is in for a trip of a big sister. Today, you spent a solid forty minutes pretending to tuck me in, giving me animals, composing epic stories about ladybugs and forests looking at me with the HUGE eyes. A few weeks back, we went to our friend SunShine's house (she has Deacon and Maxx, and as of recently, Seonna.) Seonna is about a month old, and you pretty much ignored the boys entirely, and devoted yourself to standing next to a sleeping Seonna's cradle, holding her hand and putting her pacifier back in her mouth if it ever fell out.
Why do I have a feeling that there will be less sibling rivalry as there will be you being upset that you can't do everything to "mom" Adessa. Even now, you're talking about how you get to SHARE with Adessa! Your toys! You'll give her your toys! You'll change her diapers! You'll feed her yogurt! and bottles! CONSTANT VIGILANCE! Gosh, I hope this lasts until she's actually born. Though, I'm expecting it will, you've always been fascinated by kids that are littler than you. You've hugged random babies, just because you can.
We had a Cranmer family day today, going to the pet store (you really like watching the dogs get haircuts, and today there was a long-haired cat who was getting shaved and falling asleep on the table during it. I swear they must have drugged that kitty out of it's mind. You thought that was HILARIOUS.
You've started to sing a long with your veggie tales movies, but you don't want us to sing with you, and you're not too keen on us listening to you either. But it is the CUTEST FRIGGING THING AND OMG, IT'S SO CUTE! I swear that half of our lives are me and your dad looking at each other in the midst of a cuteness explosion.
You also spent a lot of tonight talking on your phone (one of my old abandoned cellphones) to a.) Aunt Susie b.) Nana and c.) the cats.
To bed with me, before I fall over. I love you sweetheart, this will get a bit more coherent as I feel like I'm caught up. Love you!
I love what a little momma you're becoming. I think Adessa is in for a trip of a big sister. Today, you spent a solid forty minutes pretending to tuck me in, giving me animals, composing epic stories about ladybugs and forests looking at me with the HUGE eyes. A few weeks back, we went to our friend SunShine's house (she has Deacon and Maxx, and as of recently, Seonna.) Seonna is about a month old, and you pretty much ignored the boys entirely, and devoted yourself to standing next to a sleeping Seonna's cradle, holding her hand and putting her pacifier back in her mouth if it ever fell out.
Why do I have a feeling that there will be less sibling rivalry as there will be you being upset that you can't do everything to "mom" Adessa. Even now, you're talking about how you get to SHARE with Adessa! Your toys! You'll give her your toys! You'll change her diapers! You'll feed her yogurt! and bottles! CONSTANT VIGILANCE! Gosh, I hope this lasts until she's actually born. Though, I'm expecting it will, you've always been fascinated by kids that are littler than you. You've hugged random babies, just because you can.
We had a Cranmer family day today, going to the pet store (you really like watching the dogs get haircuts, and today there was a long-haired cat who was getting shaved and falling asleep on the table during it. I swear they must have drugged that kitty out of it's mind. You thought that was HILARIOUS.
You've started to sing a long with your veggie tales movies, but you don't want us to sing with you, and you're not too keen on us listening to you either. But it is the CUTEST FRIGGING THING AND OMG, IT'S SO CUTE! I swear that half of our lives are me and your dad looking at each other in the midst of a cuteness explosion.
You also spent a lot of tonight talking on your phone (one of my old abandoned cellphones) to a.) Aunt Susie b.) Nana and c.) the cats.
To bed with me, before I fall over. I love you sweetheart, this will get a bit more coherent as I feel like I'm caught up. Love you!
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Ena - February 5th, 2012
Oof, well, there was a long stretch of no posting. I'll try to sum up where we've been.
We've been weaning you off "needing" mommy or daddy to help you as you potty. You know, literally, wiping your arse. You can do it all yourself, but you don't like to, and when I make you do it...it literally took you FORTY FIVE minutes everytime. omg, I was about to shoot myself. And we need you to be able to do everything by yourself because when Adessa shows up, if she's nursing, sorry, lady...you're on your own when it comes to pottying.
It was cause for some mommy/Ena strife. I tried everything I could think of to get you motivated (stickers, time-outs, fuzzies...) and like the true daughter of mine that you are, nothing worked...except m&ms. This works surprisingly well, and gets you in and out in about five minutes. Mommy can breathe again! Wooohooo! There was one night where you had gone to the potty, were FINALLY down (this was pre-m&ms) and called me back in to tell me you needed to potty again. I did everything for you and was reaaaally crabby doing it, finally I plopped you down in your crib and walked out the door.
About 5 minutes later, I was sitting there feeling awful and not wanting you to go to sleep having been crabbed at by the crabbiest of all crabs and I went back in, pulled you up (from where you were almost sleeping anyways) and snuggled you and apologized, and you actually apologized too and we forgave each other and gave our hearts to Jesus to clean up and then you told me about your day for another 20 minutes. I love you midget.
We've been weaning you off "needing" mommy or daddy to help you as you potty. You know, literally, wiping your arse. You can do it all yourself, but you don't like to, and when I make you do it...it literally took you FORTY FIVE minutes everytime. omg, I was about to shoot myself. And we need you to be able to do everything by yourself because when Adessa shows up, if she's nursing, sorry, lady...you're on your own when it comes to pottying.
It was cause for some mommy/Ena strife. I tried everything I could think of to get you motivated (stickers, time-outs, fuzzies...) and like the true daughter of mine that you are, nothing worked...except m&ms. This works surprisingly well, and gets you in and out in about five minutes. Mommy can breathe again! Wooohooo! There was one night where you had gone to the potty, were FINALLY down (this was pre-m&ms) and called me back in to tell me you needed to potty again. I did everything for you and was reaaaally crabby doing it, finally I plopped you down in your crib and walked out the door.
About 5 minutes later, I was sitting there feeling awful and not wanting you to go to sleep having been crabbed at by the crabbiest of all crabs and I went back in, pulled you up (from where you were almost sleeping anyways) and snuggled you and apologized, and you actually apologized too and we forgave each other and gave our hearts to Jesus to clean up and then you told me about your day for another 20 minutes. I love you midget.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Adessa - January 21st, 2012
HI little lady!
You've been kicking so much lately, I'm surprised my amniotic fluid isn't carbonated! Sheesh! You're still breech, so I've been trying to encourage you to flip over by laying down with my hips propped up a bunch on the edge of the couch...no such luck yet...though Ena has been yelling "Adessa! You need to be sideways!" while bouncing on her trampoline.
(aka please don't go sideways, ouch!)
Apparently, the dr's office is more concerned than they were originally, because they're upping the level of ultrasound I need to go do. They're doing the "this is nothing to be concerned about yet," and then following it up immediately with "but we're concerned that she's not growing properly."
So here's the deal. How about there's nothing wrong and we're just fine. Stressing about this won't help, but I do get stressed because I want so badly for you to be okay. Since that moment you've gotten extra "kicky," so I'm pretty sure you're trying to tell me that everything's okay. And you know what, even if it isn't...we'll handle it together and it WILL be okay.
I can't wait to see who you are and start to learn your personality. I'm excited to see where you'll be like Ena or me or daddy and where you'll be completely and one hundred percent yourself. So be safe in there and come out when you're supposed to, okay?
I love you sweetheart, and I'm excited to meet you!
Love,
Momma
You've been kicking so much lately, I'm surprised my amniotic fluid isn't carbonated! Sheesh! You're still breech, so I've been trying to encourage you to flip over by laying down with my hips propped up a bunch on the edge of the couch...no such luck yet...though Ena has been yelling "Adessa! You need to be sideways!" while bouncing on her trampoline.
(aka please don't go sideways, ouch!)
Apparently, the dr's office is more concerned than they were originally, because they're upping the level of ultrasound I need to go do. They're doing the "this is nothing to be concerned about yet," and then following it up immediately with "but we're concerned that she's not growing properly."
So here's the deal. How about there's nothing wrong and we're just fine. Stressing about this won't help, but I do get stressed because I want so badly for you to be okay. Since that moment you've gotten extra "kicky," so I'm pretty sure you're trying to tell me that everything's okay. And you know what, even if it isn't...we'll handle it together and it WILL be okay.
I can't wait to see who you are and start to learn your personality. I'm excited to see where you'll be like Ena or me or daddy and where you'll be completely and one hundred percent yourself. So be safe in there and come out when you're supposed to, okay?
I love you sweetheart, and I'm excited to meet you!
Love,
Momma
Ena - January 21st, 2012
Ha! We bought you a trampoline! I was worried that you weren't getting enough time to play around and be physical and get all your preschooler energy out...uh, problem solved. You LOVE it. It's one of the first things you want to do in the morning as soon as you get up. Right now, you're loving when I count how many times you bounce. We were up to 500 tonight and I finally had to give in. Holy crap, kid. But you sleep better, and your cheeks look more rosy so I'm a happy momma.
Let's see. You went to Nana's and big wheeled around her basement in your helmet, went to Photo's for hotdogs and ice cream, and along with your little ice cream cone, Papa gave you a quarter of his milk shake. He's hilarious with feeding you treats, like he tries to be all sneaky about it. We went on vacation with Nana and Papa a couple of times, and he would always slip you donuts or bits of waffle during breakfast. The other day, you and Dad went over to eat dinner with them while I taught some lessons and you walked in on Papa who had broken a wine glass and was trying to vacuum it up, while holding onto his walker and being attached to his oxygen. You were super sleepy because you had fallen asleep in the car (super rare for you). So Colin made Papa sit down and stuck you on the couch next to him while he cleaned up and you snuggled right in to Papa's side. And about every ten seconds, Papa would lean over and kiss you on the top of the head. He was very happy with his Ena-girl.
Goofy stuff you've said:
"Perhaps I should get off my trampoline now."
"This ice cream has a delicious flavor."
As you can probably tell...we don't really do the whole baby talk thing with you. Your vocab (and ability to use it accurately) is awesome kiddo, but it's always amazing when you use it so properly. Adorable.
I love you so much!
--Momma
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Ena - January 18th, 2012
Short post because I don't want to break the string for too long...otherwise it's too easy to slip back into not updating.
Goofy stuff you've said: We went to a gas station on the way to nana's, gas light already on and pulled into a station that was completely out of gas. Your dad was frustrated, and you said very self-assuredly, "It's okay, Dad. We'll find you another gas place that has gas. Don't worry." And then you sat back in your car seat, very satisfied that you had fixed it.
You also have been climbing into my downstairs closet as I switch the laundry to be "an astronaut in space." Today you tried to convince me to let you take your nap down there because it's "very comfortable."
I was crabby as all get out at you yesterday, because I got a call from my OB saying that Adessa isn't growing the way that she's supposed to and they want to double check a lot of things. Which means, I have to go for another ultrasound and while it's possible that it's absolutely nothing (and most likely that they are off on my due date, which I wouldn't be surprised about)...but that it could be a something. I apologized at the end of the day, and you told me that you forgave me and we snuggled it out.
What's weird is I don't feel that much about it, but I am able to be ragingly pissed (mostly internal and restrained) on a dime right now. So, I'm burying something somewhere...I just can't quite access it. Lots of music and worship time today helped surface some of it and we had a good silly day together. I think you can sense something's up...you had your first accident in quite literally, months, and didn't want to do anything by yourself the whole day. You're also pushing on all of the boundaries while mommy's defenses are weak, which yesterday I didn't handle so well, but today I took it more in stride.
Weird how when things go wrong...it all happens at the same time. Your baby monitor broke, our car is out of alignment and not drivable, the furnace has been giving us troubles off and on and right now decided to poop out again..., and my phone did this weird update and now can only connect in roam or it drops calls. And the doctor bills. Frustrating, tiring....expensive.
I love you sweetheart. Your eyes are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Big giant blue-gray eyes blinking at me with these long feathery lashes. I love that you're my little buddy during the day, and I miss you when you sleep. (Even though sometimes I can't wait until you're sleeping...parenting is exhausting, don't get me wrong.) But then I miss you again.
Goofy stuff you've said: We went to a gas station on the way to nana's, gas light already on and pulled into a station that was completely out of gas. Your dad was frustrated, and you said very self-assuredly, "It's okay, Dad. We'll find you another gas place that has gas. Don't worry." And then you sat back in your car seat, very satisfied that you had fixed it.
You also have been climbing into my downstairs closet as I switch the laundry to be "an astronaut in space." Today you tried to convince me to let you take your nap down there because it's "very comfortable."
I was crabby as all get out at you yesterday, because I got a call from my OB saying that Adessa isn't growing the way that she's supposed to and they want to double check a lot of things. Which means, I have to go for another ultrasound and while it's possible that it's absolutely nothing (and most likely that they are off on my due date, which I wouldn't be surprised about)...but that it could be a something. I apologized at the end of the day, and you told me that you forgave me and we snuggled it out.
What's weird is I don't feel that much about it, but I am able to be ragingly pissed (mostly internal and restrained) on a dime right now. So, I'm burying something somewhere...I just can't quite access it. Lots of music and worship time today helped surface some of it and we had a good silly day together. I think you can sense something's up...you had your first accident in quite literally, months, and didn't want to do anything by yourself the whole day. You're also pushing on all of the boundaries while mommy's defenses are weak, which yesterday I didn't handle so well, but today I took it more in stride.
Weird how when things go wrong...it all happens at the same time. Your baby monitor broke, our car is out of alignment and not drivable, the furnace has been giving us troubles off and on and right now decided to poop out again..., and my phone did this weird update and now can only connect in roam or it drops calls. And the doctor bills. Frustrating, tiring....expensive.
I love you sweetheart. Your eyes are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Big giant blue-gray eyes blinking at me with these long feathery lashes. I love that you're my little buddy during the day, and I miss you when you sleep. (Even though sometimes I can't wait until you're sleeping...parenting is exhausting, don't get me wrong.) But then I miss you again.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Adessa - January 14th, 2012
Look at you, little lady! Not even out in the world and you already have a blog about you.
We had our ultrasound the other day and found out that you were a girl. I think I was almost a little shellshocked because I was sure you were going to be a boy!...apparently, I have no radar for this sort of thing. Fine with me! I'm happy that you're a girl!!
You're currently measuring a little small which I wish I didn't know because it just makes me nervous. (Especially because Ena was so huge, so I keep expecting that you're going to be a moose too. And then I get worried that i"m doing something wrong.) My gut feeling is that they have my due date wrong and you'll be born a little later than they're thinking. Due dates are such jokes anyways, but they want everything to neatly line up under their "standards." Argh, medical births drive me a little crazy, but I'm not quite brave enough to do a home birth...I think.
You kick and move a bunch, but definitely have times where you're sleepy and still. You're currently breech, so if you wouldn't mind turning around that'd be fabulous, by the way :) You tend to elbow me to the right of my belly button and stretch your feet out against my left hip, which just feels weird.
Putting some stuff in place to get ready for you...I hope we move by the time you've arrived, but I think I'd be pleasantly surprised if that actually happens. I'm still not sure what we're going to do about space and such or trying to show the house after we've had to bring back all the baby stuff...I'm trying not to think about all that at the minute. I can't wait to meet you and show you our world...we have lots of cats for you to pet and a fabulous older sister that is going to love you to little pieces.
I love you baby girl.
We had our ultrasound the other day and found out that you were a girl. I think I was almost a little shellshocked because I was sure you were going to be a boy!...apparently, I have no radar for this sort of thing. Fine with me! I'm happy that you're a girl!!
You're currently measuring a little small which I wish I didn't know because it just makes me nervous. (Especially because Ena was so huge, so I keep expecting that you're going to be a moose too. And then I get worried that i"m doing something wrong.) My gut feeling is that they have my due date wrong and you'll be born a little later than they're thinking. Due dates are such jokes anyways, but they want everything to neatly line up under their "standards." Argh, medical births drive me a little crazy, but I'm not quite brave enough to do a home birth...I think.
You kick and move a bunch, but definitely have times where you're sleepy and still. You're currently breech, so if you wouldn't mind turning around that'd be fabulous, by the way :) You tend to elbow me to the right of my belly button and stretch your feet out against my left hip, which just feels weird.
Putting some stuff in place to get ready for you...I hope we move by the time you've arrived, but I think I'd be pleasantly surprised if that actually happens. I'm still not sure what we're going to do about space and such or trying to show the house after we've had to bring back all the baby stuff...I'm trying not to think about all that at the minute. I can't wait to meet you and show you our world...we have lots of cats for you to pet and a fabulous older sister that is going to love you to little pieces.
I love you baby girl.
January 14th, 2012
Hi lady! You slept at Grandma and Grandpa's last night again. I think it's getting pretty normal for you. Your dad and I went to his staff party, and I'm so glad that you're going to see church done in and around these people. They're real, honest, laidback and goofy folk--who happen to think drinking shots is hilarious. It's just such a place of health that I'm happy that we've landed here. No church is perfect, but man, our family has been through the wringer with church hurt. It's nice to be in a place that while it's not perfect...is much MUCH safer than any other place we've been.
We had an ultrasound the other day, and you were cracking the technician up like crazy. She wasn't an easy egg, either. You asked her what her name was, and insisted that you're going to feed the baby yogurt, and when I told you I had to pee, you told me to "Squeeze your butt together, mom!" And then we found out that...we're having a girl! You're going to have a sister!
So crazy. I'm so overjoyed and glad that you get to experience having a sibling that's yours. I feel like all my life I've wanted to have that claim with someone and as deep as a friendship can go and as much as people say "we're sisters, or they're my REAL family"...there's something about know that genes and DNA and some mysterious tie makes that person legitimately yours in a way that they are no one else's. At least...that's how it looks to someone who has no siblings! Weird that you'll probably be each other's maids of honor, and you'll bitch about us to each other and know just what the other is talking about.
I'm excited to see you as a big sister. Your instinct is already to take care of all the other littles around you, so I'm so excited to be able to give you a little that's genuinely yours to snuggle and help take care of. We've got some growth that we need to do with you to get you to a place that I think we need to be when a baby comes:
I'd like you to be sleeping in a big bed. And I need to make snacks that you can get yourself from the refrigerator. I'd LOVE for you to be fully potty trained at night, we're still doing pull ups and nap and bedtime and you PEE. IT. UP. like the second you get a diaper on. I think we just need to take them off and let you have some accidents and then you'll be fine. We had to do the same thing during the day but you nailed it in a week as soon as diapers weren't an option...so I think we just need to suck it up and lose the diapers at night. And I think the last one is that you need to be able to go to the potty, wipe and wash your hands all on your own. Right now, I'm helping you still and I'm pretty sure if I set you up a little better you could do the whole thing by yourself. (I'm just envisioning myself nursing a baby and you needing to go to the potty and me unable to help...)
You're also painting about...oh, three hours a DAY right now. You love your watercolors and go back to them over and over, and each time you'll paint for a half hour or more. You love it! I'm saving all your pictures because daddy wants to make them into a big art piece for you. I'm glad because you are extremely "art prolific" and I was wondering what to do with all of it! (I tend to be unsentimental and throw things away, but I always feel a little bad, so I'm glad he's got a cool way to preserve stuff.
Alright, you goofy little peanut. I love you so much!
We had an ultrasound the other day, and you were cracking the technician up like crazy. She wasn't an easy egg, either. You asked her what her name was, and insisted that you're going to feed the baby yogurt, and when I told you I had to pee, you told me to "Squeeze your butt together, mom!" And then we found out that...we're having a girl! You're going to have a sister!
So crazy. I'm so overjoyed and glad that you get to experience having a sibling that's yours. I feel like all my life I've wanted to have that claim with someone and as deep as a friendship can go and as much as people say "we're sisters, or they're my REAL family"...there's something about know that genes and DNA and some mysterious tie makes that person legitimately yours in a way that they are no one else's. At least...that's how it looks to someone who has no siblings! Weird that you'll probably be each other's maids of honor, and you'll bitch about us to each other and know just what the other is talking about.
I'm excited to see you as a big sister. Your instinct is already to take care of all the other littles around you, so I'm so excited to be able to give you a little that's genuinely yours to snuggle and help take care of. We've got some growth that we need to do with you to get you to a place that I think we need to be when a baby comes:
I'd like you to be sleeping in a big bed. And I need to make snacks that you can get yourself from the refrigerator. I'd LOVE for you to be fully potty trained at night, we're still doing pull ups and nap and bedtime and you PEE. IT. UP. like the second you get a diaper on. I think we just need to take them off and let you have some accidents and then you'll be fine. We had to do the same thing during the day but you nailed it in a week as soon as diapers weren't an option...so I think we just need to suck it up and lose the diapers at night. And I think the last one is that you need to be able to go to the potty, wipe and wash your hands all on your own. Right now, I'm helping you still and I'm pretty sure if I set you up a little better you could do the whole thing by yourself. (I'm just envisioning myself nursing a baby and you needing to go to the potty and me unable to help...)
You're also painting about...oh, three hours a DAY right now. You love your watercolors and go back to them over and over, and each time you'll paint for a half hour or more. You love it! I'm saving all your pictures because daddy wants to make them into a big art piece for you. I'm glad because you are extremely "art prolific" and I was wondering what to do with all of it! (I tend to be unsentimental and throw things away, but I always feel a little bad, so I'm glad he's got a cool way to preserve stuff.
Alright, you goofy little peanut. I love you so much!
Saturday, January 7, 2012
January 7th, 2012
Well! You had your very first sleepover at Grandma and Grandpa's last night. And you did fantastic! I think you had a bunch of fun and you weren't as clingy as I thought you'd be (was hoping you'd be) when you got home. I'm so proud of you, big girl! Your dad and I had a nice dinner and movie date. It was nice to be a couple but really nice to get you back and be a little family again. I'm really glad you did so well, honey.
It's bedtime now, and Daddy is in there cuddling and talking with you. (I put you down, but sometimes he has more patience when you're stalling BIG TIME like you were tonight. Every couple of minutes, something new that you need or want or forgot) You guys are the CUTEST! We painted and played with a magnet game (You can paint and draw for...hours, it's crazy) and then you pretended to be a cat and crawled up in your dad's lap for cuddles. That's what the picture is from.
Goofy things you've said/done today:
Well, you have been working on your winking and today your dad taught you to close one eye and growl "ARGH!" like a pirate. It's pretty awesome.
We had honey pork chops tonight and you kept calling them "Forkchops."
When I was getting you dressed from your bath we kept yelling back and forth "I love you! Yes I do!"
Friday, January 6, 2012
January 6th, 2012
Peanut! Oof, I'm nervous. Tonight you are spending the first night away from us...ever. We're trying to get you used to sleeping over at Grandma and Grandpa's before you HAVE to when I go to the hospital to have your little sibling. (We find out if it's a boy or girl next Tuesday!) So, we're doing a sleepover a month or so you can experience it. I keep trying to talk it up about how exciting and fun it's going to be--but I'm not sure I'm selling it amazingly because...well, I'm SCARED! Isn't that silly? You're going to be in a place where you're SO loved and going to be spoiled and taken care of...and I'm scared that you're going to be sad or confused or miss your momma...reality is, you're probably going to be just fine. I'm praying you're going to be just fine...because at some point, you're not going to have an option.
SO! You're going to sleep over at GRANDMA's!!!!! It's going to be SO FUN! You're going to nap, and then you're going to sleep there at NIGHT TOO! And Grandpa's going to make you a YUMMY breakfast!!! WON'T THAT BE FUN!?!?
Meanwhile, Mommy and Daddy will be slightly stressed out at home. But we're going on a date, so that will be fun!
Also, we have two house showings today that we need to clean up for...though the house is in pretty good shape because I cleaned after the Christmas explosion. Maybe this will be it and we will finally sell our house and get to move close to church! And have a place to put the baby other than in a drawer.
Goofy things you've done:
Lately, you've been doing this weird thing with your eye, kinda of half closing it and looking like you're super drunk. I asked you about it and you said, "I'm WINKING at you, Moooom."
SO! You're going to sleep over at GRANDMA's!!!!! It's going to be SO FUN! You're going to nap, and then you're going to sleep there at NIGHT TOO! And Grandpa's going to make you a YUMMY breakfast!!! WON'T THAT BE FUN!?!?
Meanwhile, Mommy and Daddy will be slightly stressed out at home. But we're going on a date, so that will be fun!
Also, we have two house showings today that we need to clean up for...though the house is in pretty good shape because I cleaned after the Christmas explosion. Maybe this will be it and we will finally sell our house and get to move close to church! And have a place to put the baby other than in a drawer.
Goofy things you've done:
Lately, you've been doing this weird thing with your eye, kinda of half closing it and looking like you're super drunk. I asked you about it and you said, "I'm WINKING at you, Moooom."
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
January 3rd/4th, 2012
Whoops, already missed one day. Go figure. Well, the upside of you having been super sick is that it reset your schedule back to AWESOME! You wake up at 8, sleep at 1:30/2, get up at 4:30, and go back to bed at 8:30. This is what I've been trying to nail for MONTHS. The original schedule went something like wake up at 8:30 or 9, refuse to nap, be exhausted by 4, fall asleep until 6, stay up until 10 or 11. Not good. It was just getting worse and worse. The only thing I don't know about is what we're going to do at Youth Group on Sunday...you still have to stay up until 10 or 11. Maybe you'll fall asleep on the way home this time. We'll work it out I'm sure, but I don't want to lose this!
We went to the library at 7 last night to let you play with a friend (Olivia). You guys made a huge train track on the floor and had a giant giggle fest doing it while her mom and I watched you from the rockers. I'm trying to be better this year about making sure you're around other littles regularly. It's been difficult because our community is really out in Gurnee, which we're not by, and the community that we're by...well, let's just say they're hard to nail down. Maybe it's me. Not a lot of extra money for classes or preschool right now...just trying to make it work, which is a challenge to my introverted self. Everybody's got a learning curve, right?
I've also been researching a lot of Waldorf curriculum for the meantime (which is basically, do life and play)...I'm so stressed out about your schooling right now. This probably sounds ridiculous...but I don't want to squash you. You have such a beautiful little light, my little joy monster, and I'm afraid to put you in a place that put pressure on you or has kids that will bully you. It's like I can't think my way out of this whole mess. I don't want to shelter you so that you become unable to deal with idiot people or idiotic circumstances, but I don't want you to hit them so hard that they put your light out or take your joy of just being alive. I want you to LOVE to learn. I want to you to explore, not regurgitate facts. It's literally putting a grey cloud over me right now because I can't figure it out. It's probably my own junk too...I feel like I formed a shell at a very young age around who I was to protect myself from mean kids and incompetent teachers, and it made me jaded and cynical and it still pops up more than I'd like. We'll figure it out as we go, I suppose, and we'll listen to you and help you discover who you are and what you need.
I love you, sweetheart, and we'll figure it out together.
Love,
Momma
We went to the library at 7 last night to let you play with a friend (Olivia). You guys made a huge train track on the floor and had a giant giggle fest doing it while her mom and I watched you from the rockers. I'm trying to be better this year about making sure you're around other littles regularly. It's been difficult because our community is really out in Gurnee, which we're not by, and the community that we're by...well, let's just say they're hard to nail down. Maybe it's me. Not a lot of extra money for classes or preschool right now...just trying to make it work, which is a challenge to my introverted self. Everybody's got a learning curve, right?
I've also been researching a lot of Waldorf curriculum for the meantime (which is basically, do life and play)...I'm so stressed out about your schooling right now. This probably sounds ridiculous...but I don't want to squash you. You have such a beautiful little light, my little joy monster, and I'm afraid to put you in a place that put pressure on you or has kids that will bully you. It's like I can't think my way out of this whole mess. I don't want to shelter you so that you become unable to deal with idiot people or idiotic circumstances, but I don't want you to hit them so hard that they put your light out or take your joy of just being alive. I want you to LOVE to learn. I want to you to explore, not regurgitate facts. It's literally putting a grey cloud over me right now because I can't figure it out. It's probably my own junk too...I feel like I formed a shell at a very young age around who I was to protect myself from mean kids and incompetent teachers, and it made me jaded and cynical and it still pops up more than I'd like. We'll figure it out as we go, I suppose, and we'll listen to you and help you discover who you are and what you need.
I love you, sweetheart, and we'll figure it out together.
Love,
Momma
Monday, January 2, 2012
January 2nd, 2012
Holy hilarious, kiddo. We just got back from a party at Nana's--and you had missed your nap to go, which usually is no big deal, but this virus REALLY must have taken it out of you. I look back as we pull into the drive and you had completely konked out and were snoring in your carseat. Dad and I had to carry you in and put you in your jammies--and while this might be normal for most kids--YOU rarely fall asleep in the car and if you ever do, you wake up as soon as we move you. I've never seen you this floppy! Your sweet face gets all smooshy and angelic, your hair a static monster from your kitty hat, and you're barely conscious of us yanking a dress over your face (poorly).
You were a sweetheart at Nana's, but have fallen into a new pattern that you picked up in the TWO days you were ill. Because your crying got so much attention when you were sick, now you've taken to crying whenever something's not going your way (like Aunt Meg's using a chair you want to sit in, or Mommy's across the room). We're pulling that one up short on you, which means you're crying in the corner a lot right now. Poor kiddo, but I'm having none of it.
Goofy stuff you said today:
Dad was looking for a towel that I had brought up for him, and said so from the bedroom. You proceeded to yell, "DAD! IT'S RIGHT THERE! IN FRONT OF YOU! LOOK HARDER!" Which was what I was thinking. It tickled me so much that you and I got in a massive giggle fest for the next fifteen minutes. He found the towel. Good directions, sweetheart!
You were a sweetheart at Nana's, but have fallen into a new pattern that you picked up in the TWO days you were ill. Because your crying got so much attention when you were sick, now you've taken to crying whenever something's not going your way (like Aunt Meg's using a chair you want to sit in, or Mommy's across the room). We're pulling that one up short on you, which means you're crying in the corner a lot right now. Poor kiddo, but I'm having none of it.
Goofy stuff you said today:
Dad was looking for a towel that I had brought up for him, and said so from the bedroom. You proceeded to yell, "DAD! IT'S RIGHT THERE! IN FRONT OF YOU! LOOK HARDER!" Which was what I was thinking. It tickled me so much that you and I got in a massive giggle fest for the next fifteen minutes. He found the towel. Good directions, sweetheart!
Sunday, January 1, 2012
January 2012
Oh my little darling. I keep wanting to update things or write down everything. So here's my goal: I want to update (short) once a day for all of 2012. I've tried this before, but I want to capture YOU right now, as you are. Because you're hilarious.
So here goes.
You've been REALLY sick for the past couple of days...sick to the point where you've been crying and angry. Usually, you bop through colds and fevers like they're nothing, this is one of the first ones that's ever slowed you down. You've having a hard time sleeping at night...last night was AWFUL. You can't breathe through your nose, so all your consonants are messed up (Right now, my name is Bommby.) But, you managed to get about 6 straight hours of sleep last night and woke up in muuuuch better spirits. Now we just have to undo all the mega-spoiling you've been receiving. (i.e. I fed you bread in the middle of the night, let you sleep with a sippy of apple juice because you SCREAMED when you drank water, have had innumerable popsicles, let you take baths without making you wash your hair...) It's funny because you are usually very easy going and happy (and articulate! You've lost all ability to form complete sentences and resorted to pointing, grunting and whining to get your point across). When you started talking again, I knew we were on the upswing.
I just love you so much, kiddo. Seeing you SO upset and in pain and frustrating has little made my heart catapult itself outwards and fall on the floor in a terrible stressed jumble.
Goofy things you said today:
In the middle of eating dinner out of NOWHERE, you looked up and said "I LOVE Cows!"
You insist on being the one to pray at every meal, and tonight you said "I love my family, and (and then you whispered to me: Do you know? She had shoes on...)
NIght night baby...please please please sleep.
Love,
Mom
So here goes.
You've been REALLY sick for the past couple of days...sick to the point where you've been crying and angry. Usually, you bop through colds and fevers like they're nothing, this is one of the first ones that's ever slowed you down. You've having a hard time sleeping at night...last night was AWFUL. You can't breathe through your nose, so all your consonants are messed up (Right now, my name is Bommby.) But, you managed to get about 6 straight hours of sleep last night and woke up in muuuuch better spirits. Now we just have to undo all the mega-spoiling you've been receiving. (i.e. I fed you bread in the middle of the night, let you sleep with a sippy of apple juice because you SCREAMED when you drank water, have had innumerable popsicles, let you take baths without making you wash your hair...) It's funny because you are usually very easy going and happy (and articulate! You've lost all ability to form complete sentences and resorted to pointing, grunting and whining to get your point across). When you started talking again, I knew we were on the upswing.
I just love you so much, kiddo. Seeing you SO upset and in pain and frustrating has little made my heart catapult itself outwards and fall on the floor in a terrible stressed jumble.
Goofy things you said today:
In the middle of eating dinner out of NOWHERE, you looked up and said "I LOVE Cows!"
You insist on being the one to pray at every meal, and tonight you said "I love my family, and (and then you whispered to me: Do you know? She had shoes on...)
NIght night baby...please please please sleep.
Love,
Mom
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)